mommy optimistic : parents

Getting to spend the holidays with my family is one of the most amazing parts of where I am in my life right now. Putt Putt not only encourages me to spend time with them here at the house, she actually does a lot of the prep work so that I don't have to totally wear myself out. Having Fibromyalgia can makes things tough sometimes for me. Cooking a huge family meal and cleaning house would wipe me out so badly that I wouldn't be able to enjoy their company. Add to the fibro the fact that I am working my little fingers to the bone at the computer writing the script I am collaborating on AND the book manuscript that I am editing and co-authoring along with my own novel, and I could very well be a total basket case. But she pitches in like a trooper and takes on a lot of the heaver stuff so that I can have a great day.

This Christmas was long and tiring, but I would not have given it up for the world. Christmas day we went to her folks place. Dinner was lovely, and the gift exchange was a great time. Her Mom got me a gift card, even though she HATES gift cards (she thinks they imply a lack of thought), because that was what I had asked for. I think she understood when I told her that I needed new clothes, as 50 lbs extra just won't fit into my old clothes anymore. Her sister, bless her heart, remembered a conversation we had this past summer about the fact that I love vintage typewriters. On Christmas day she gave me a 60's era manual typewriter.

I was so thrilled I almost cried!

When we got home we did a lot of the prep-work for dinner with my side of the family, and then headed off to bed where we slept off a major case of tryptophan poisoning. The next morning, we were out of bed at the crack of dawn, drinking coffee and sorting out the rest of the chores to be done. Since we had done so much the night before, there wasn't a lot to do with the exception of a little tidying.

We have made it a practice at the holidays of inviting all of the family and a few very good friends. People began arriving about noon and so we put out all of the yummies. As each new person walked in the door, we steered them toward the table. Dinner turned out great! Have I ever mentioned that Putt is an awesome cook? Afterward, we sat down for the gift exchange. We had decided to draw names for the adults as none of us is very financially stable right now. We all bought for the Grandkids and the person we had drawn. My daughter "Wednesday" got me a bottle of wine, some chocolates and the prettiest wine glasses I have ever seen. The Grandsons were just TOO happy with the gift cards to Game Stop, as they had gotten a Wii from Santa. The littlest one, 3 years old and very opinionated, thought that the pajamas we got him, covered with Cars characters and dinosaurs, were just "too cool!!!"

After the entire tribe left, we both collapsed on the sofa, tired beyond belief, and yet so happy! Being with my friends and family for all of the important days, though tiring and a little crazy-making, is one of the things I love more than anything, and I am so happy that Pat makes it possible for us to be together.

I have to admit, though - when, on Wednesday, she said that Christmas is at her place next year, I kind of breathed a sigh of relief.

If there were a Couch Protective Services, my husband and I would have lost custody of ours decades ago.

Our settee was attractive enough when we first bought it second-hand.  At that point in our furniture acquiring career we were thrilled to own anything that wasn’t made of Herculon, Orlon, rayon or any other kind of man-made substance ending in “-on,” guaranteed to be so itchy, it made short work of your ability to sit on it.        

Though the chaise lounge was rather large and unwieldy we made a place for it amongst the prized possessions of our living room at the time which consisted of one framed print from the movie “From Here to Eternity,” our thirteen-inch black and white television set and our garage sale, though real wood, nineteen-sixties-era coffee table.

The divan looked divine and seemed to fit right in, which was no mean feat with our mish-mash of collectibles.  Unfortunately, what started out as an exciting relationship soon went the direction that many relationships go – from exhilaration, to apathy, to feelings of enmity.

We soon wanted a new couch and were condemning the old one for not being all that we had hoped and needed it to be.  The suffering sofa was never good enough, no matter how hard it tried.  It let us throw ourselves on it, spill every manner of liquid on it, jump on it, flop on it and even lounge on it and still, for us, it wasn’t doing enough.  We wanted it to be a conversation piece, the center of attraction, a piece of furniture that would go down in tufted history.

We wanted people to comment on our lovely davenport.  It never could live up to our standards because they were cruel and unrealistic.  We wanted another couch and we even talked about that fact in front of our much maligned settee with reckless disregard for its well-upholstered feelings.

As often happens, one day the light metaphorically went on for us.  We had just returned from looking at other chesterfields and the family couldn’t agree on any of the ones we had examined. We considered couches that ran the gamut from conversational pit style to “sink into it up to your neck,” to a spare, clean, modern little number, but none suited us.

At the end of a long day of paying homage to the furniture gods we finally came to the correct conclusion.  None of them were our couch.  We loved our couch.  It put up with us.  The more we dished out, the more it took.  It even stayed for more.

The lounge endured our insensitive comments about it, bad habits in all manner of sleeping, eating, sitting, and lying down and even our lackadaisical attitude toward cleaning.  In short, it acted like part of the family.

All I can say is that it’s a good thing our ownership of things isn’t subject to the same laws that govern our children because we’d be in big trouble with the law.  We’d be hauled in by the Couch Police faster than you can say, “Lay down the slipcover and get your hands up in the air.”  

I am hoping that everyone will forgive me for my absence lately, but when it rains, it pours! This is not meant in the bad way that it usually does, it is in the best way possible. Well, maybe not the best way, I didn't win the lottery yet, but in a much better way than I ever expected.

My muse, having been kicked into High Gear by the little bit of writing I have been doing, decided that I should be maybe making a bit of money. So I started searching on Craigslist once again, and wonder of wonders, I found a position as a screenplay writer! So, while writing for Mommy Optimistic will be my labor of love, I will probably be doing it part time, at least until I get myself disciplined enough to write several hours a day. This is a dream come true for me!

Yesterday was my oldest daughter's birthday. I often have trouble thinking that I have a daughter that is 29 years old, at least until my body speaks up and reminds me with a twinge here or an ache there. Putt Putt and I took dinner over to her house, a nice pork roast with lots of carrots and potatoes. It was absolutely delicious, as Putt is the BEST cook! I guess that explains why I have gained 50 lbs. over the last year. But I digress.

Angel had called me on Friday to tell us not to bring cake and ice cream, as the youngest grandson had been telling her all week that he wanted to buy her a birthday cake. So on Saturday, she took him to the store and gave him some money and allowed him to pay for the cake. I really wish I had been there, it must have been the cutest thing to see him walking up to the checkout with money in his little three-year-old fist and telling anyone who would listen that it was his mommy's birthday and he was buying her a cake.

We got to her place and put the dinner in the oven to warm back up. She lives about an hour from us and it had cooled down a bit. Unfortunately it was at the beginning of the trip when I dropped something on the floor, right where the pan was sitting, and brushed the back of my hand against the hot pan, burning my knuckle. It's OK now, but I sure felt dumb! It did make me feel better, though, when I walked through the front door and the youngest launched himself at me for a hug and then literally drug me into the kitchen to see the cake that he got his Mom. My younger daughter showed up a few minutes later and we all sat around talking and laughing. The adults, with the exception of Putt, all had a glass of wine, and the "littles" had sparkling cider while we just spent some time together. Angel opened her gifts, and I think maybe she liked the scarf and necklace I made for her.

I think I have said at one point or another that my children and I are only recently getting close because of my depression issues in the past. But I am doing my best to make up for that, and they are fortunately willing to let me make it up. Angel thanked us several times, and she texted us both this morning to say Thank You once again. I am so glad that she enjoyed it, as I know I did.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. Happy Holidays to You and Yours from Me and Mine!!

Pamela